So today I want to share you the wonderful experience I just went through about 2 hours ago. I'm on my way home from Clifton, driving in a bad storm. Now, I know people are probably going to tell me I shouldn't be driving out in the rain, but all I have to say to that is fuck you. I'm not going to let weather dictate my life. So I'm driving home and I slow down to take this curve on the highway. Mind you, this curve has no lights and its pitch black and fucking raining. I'm looking at the road, I'm going around the curve slow, nothing out of the ordinary. The road looks wet from the rain, whatever. I accelerate out of the turn. I then hit the biggest fucking puddle on the face of the earth. It was like a tiny ocean. Dolphins and all.
I hydroplane into the middle of the road and my car shuts off. At this point in time, it seems that every car in north jersey had been following me and proceeded to break behind me and honk. Luckily for me a tow truck came about a minute later and pushed me to the side of the road where another gentleman was waiting, who had a similar problem. I talked to the tow truck guy who said he wasn't going to move us until he called the cops to block off the road so he didn't get it.
I call my mom to let her know what happened and she then informs me that I have a "Road Side Assistance Plan" on my cell phone, which I had never known about until this moment in time. The tow truck then decides to leave, and I am left alone with the two other dudes in the other car, under a dark bridge, ready to get hit by another car at a moments notice. Luckily that didn't happen. Long story short, Road side called me and said they were going to get a tow truck out to get me but they never came. Also, they tried to reach several other tow truck companies but they didn't want to come get me and my fellow "worse case scenario" comrad. They then call the cops and they never show up. The tow truck, road side assistance, and even my own mother called the police...and they still didn't show.
I was under that bridge for about an hour and a half. Eventually the man in the other car got his son to come and give him a boost and he went on his merry way. They did try to help me, so I want to thank the 2 dudes in the car and the one guys son for helping a shmuck like me. I also want to thank the 3 other people who pulled over to make sure I was alright. It's good to know that there are people out there who aren't total scumbags. I eventually got home after letting the engine dry a bit. And then a half hour after being home...the fucking cops call me to see if I need help. So I just want to thank the North Bergan Police Department for letting me sit on a very dangerous curve, next to a very big puddle. And not setting up a road block so this won't happen or to prevent a car from hydroplaning into mine thus wrecking it. Or even to send a tow truck to come get me before I get brutally and savagely rapped by a Yeti.
No seriously...it's cool. I enjoy being left out in the rain with my car ready to get smashed like a horny tramp on prom night. I think it's awesome that North Bergan is about 5 minutes away from where I was and they did absolutely jack shit to help someone out. But it's cool, you and tow truck guys must be biffles or something. Thats the only way to explain the level of douche baggery that both of you displayed this evening.
Atleast the Yeti would have kept me company.
-Davel
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